Irony and Courage
by DarkBlueMint
Summary: A talk with a friend gives Natsuki the courage to chase her dreams. ShizNat.
1. Irony

**Irony**  
By: DarkBlue Mint  
Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm rich, that's why my mother is still paying my rent (my job is only good to pay for food and college expenses).  
Notes: Tried to fix the grammar and stuff. Not very good at that, which is the reason why I write short ficts, less grammar to worry about. Yeah, this is long for me.  
---

It was quite the irony actually. The moment that Shizuru stopped noticing Natsuki; Natsuki had started to notice Shizuru. This had Mai worried about her and Nao making fun of her; neither of the redheads where wrong. Natsuki knew that she went too much to Mai's for support and to wallow in her own misery. And Nao was right in saying that she had lost her chance with the gorgeous Kyoto woman, for that reason she didn't go to the church to talk to her anymore. Although, she still didn't knew why she went to Nao for help in the first place. That was certainly a bad idea, especially considering her reply:

"_You're in love with Shizuru?" said the nun while laughing. "The woman pinned after you for God knows how long, and the moment she left you had an epiphany? This is to rich."_

After that, every time the HiMEs got together for a meeting (sans Shizuru, Midori and Fumi, who where very busy with their chosen paths) Nao took several good shots against Natsuki self esteem. Every time that happened, Natsuki ended up pacing in Mai's room until at least five in the morning; time in which or she passed out from sleep, or Mikoto knocked her unconscious.  
Not that she could talk with Mai anymore. After the redhead had a very public and loud break up with Tate; she was found pined in a very public tree being thoroughly kissed by Mikoto. Mai didn't look mad with this, not even when one of Mikoto's hands started to fondle certain big parts of her anatomy. Nobody was surprised in either account. First, Mikoto had always claimed Mai as hers, and second, Mikoto always touched Mai's breasts in public.  
A part of Natsuki was hurt; hence the reason to stop her visits to the redhead. She was happy about her friend happiness. But seeing said best friend so in love and happy, when the object of her own affection was so far away... She was jealous of Mai, for having what she had lost. Also it hurt when Mikoto knock her out.  
Actually, Shizuru wasn't that far away; the University of Fuuka was only an hour away from the school. Only thirty-five minutes if Natsuki was driving her bike, and she "forgot" the speed limits. But for some reason, since the four months that they had been apart, Natsuki couldn't make herself go.

"Hello Natsuki" said Akane while sitting next to her. "Any problems?"  
One of the problems of sitting in one of the benches near the door, a lot of people tended to interrupt your inner monologues.  
"Hi Akane, date with Kazu-kun?" responded Natsuki trying to change the subject away from her. Akane for her part gave a nod, blushed and looked at Natsuki with serious eyes. It was a cute expression in the girl.  
"Mai is worried about you." Natsuki imagined Akane and Mai talking behind her back about her awakened feelings for Shizuru, or acknowledged, to say the truth. Natsuki though that she always had been in love with the other woman; only that her fears didn't let her accept it. She imagined that they talked a lot about her in their breaks on the cake shop. She supposed that they talked about Kazu and Mikoto sometimes too. She couldn't help but smile a little about that picture.  
Akane had been a weird friendship to Natsuki; the other students accepted it, they were classmates after all. But for Natsuki was a misplaced gratitude at first. Akane had found out that Natsuki took her from the First District hospital; and after thanking her, told her that they were friends. That meant that Akane decided to take care of her, same as Mai (but Mai took care of everybody). That seemed to mean to ask her to please cut down her mayo consumption and bother her with incomplete schoolwork. After some months Natsuki started to care for the girl. And now, both of them were best friends in her opinion; not that she voiced that opinion, but Akane didn't seem to mind.  
They sat in silence for a while. Akane waiting for Kazu, and Natsuki she was thinking about the irony of loving Shizuru, now that the other girl wasn't there.  
"She is still in love with you," stated Akane simply, while looking at the setting sun.  
"Come again?" was Natsuki intelligent commentary.  
"Shizuru, she is still in love with you," repeated the girl. "Is easy to know. Even if it's been three--."  
"Four months and three weeks." Akane smiled at the interruption.  
"Even if it's been four months and three weeks. Is easy to see, she looks at you the same way that Kazu looks at me, same way I look at him. The same way that Mikoto always looked at Mai. That kind of look says forever, you know? I don't think she could ever forget you, not matter how many months or years come to pass."  
"She didn't come to visit me, not even called me, on all that time..." retorted Natsuki while looking at the sky and trying to not believe her friend. Trying to deny that truth, even if she knows that what Akane says is real.  
"You never told her to call. Didn't you?" Natsuki looked at Akane with a sad smile. "I think she's trying to let you choose what to do. She... I think she feels guilty, for everything that happened in the carnival. Everything she did." The girl stared at Natsuki with some kind of far away look. "I understand her. I would have done the same. If I had the power I would have killed Miyu; and every other Hime, and not even regret it, if that meant to have Kazu. To come back to him." Something in her voice told Natsuki she was telling the truth, her eyes took a serious and dangerous quality at that moment. "I would have destroyed the world for Kazu."  
She would have, thought Natsuki. And Shizuru would have done the same for Natsuki. Destroy the world, the First District, everything for Natsuki. Suddenly a smile appeared in Akane's face, a beautiful smile, and Natsuki knew that Kazu was near.  
"Luckily I didn't have to do that" with that Akane sat up and started to walk towards her boyfriend. At the last second she stopped and looked at Natsuki in the eyes "The decision is yours Natsuki. She loves you, and was willing to do anything for you. What are you willing to do for her?" With those last words the other girl left.  
Natsuki watched the darkened sky, only thirty-five minutes if she "forgot" the speed limits. She had gone before, but never had the courage to enter Shizuru's dorm and knock her door. Today was going to be different. With that last tough the girl stood up and started running towards her bike.

---  
After Notes: The line about Akane destroying the world is inspired from Saikano, for some reason Chise and Akane strike me as similar... Yeah, I have a weird mind.


	2. Courage

**Courage**

Author: DarkBlue Mint

Disclaimer: Using one of my old disclaimers: 'Everything is Sunrise's. But Natsuki belongs to Shizuru.'

Note: Sorry for the delay, even thought my condition and everything I have no excuse. I'm really sorry to say that I completely forgot about the fict. But hey, you should be happy that they k--- (sorry that's a spoiler).

Note 2: The only thing that stayed from the original draft is my name, the title and the disclaimer. I think that my style has changed a little... That and I'm also writing with a fever. So sorry if you don't like.

---

Courage was a funny thing. It was incredible easy for Natsuki to jump in her bike and ride to Shizuru's dorm; it was something completely different to get down from the bike, walk the necessary steps and knock on the girl's door. To put it simple Natsuki was paralyzed with fear; not that the dark haired girl was going to admit it, she was a tough biker after all, someone who had fought in the carnival, who had come to the understanding of her own mortality and had fought her last rival head on.

_Love is scarier than death_, thought the girl while playing with her helmet. _Should have thought this through, I can't go to her dorm and just confess, I should get back, talk to Mai and come back tomorrow... Maybe._

"Natsuki?" The sweet calling of her name came before the girl could put her plans of running away on use, some part of her cheered that her cowardice had taken so long in thinking the plan. As for the rest she felt herself be soothed by the musical timbre of Shizuru's voice.

"Shi-Shizuru." Shizuru laughed at Natsuki apparent fear.

_Of course I have to stutter. Of course she has to laugh._

"What're you doing here?"

"Ara? I live here. It would be more proper to ask what Natsuki is doing."

_I'm an idiot._ "Nothing, really." _I just jumped on my bike so I could ride at high speed to confess my love to you, and now I'm really, really afraid. And you Shizuru?_

"Oh. And here I thought that Natsuki had come to visit me. Well, I'll take my leave and let you keep doing nothing." With that the college girl turned around and started walking.

"I- I was. I mean I am. Visiting... you... and. How are you?"

"A little bit tired, I just got out of classes." Natsuki noticed that the girl was carrying books and she did seem a little sleepy, though a smile adorned her face. "Does Natsuki wants to come inside for some tea?"

"Erhm... I think I better go. I mean, you should rest, you look tired."

At those words the smile in Shizuru's face disappeared completely. Of course Natsuki didn't noticed, for some reason she felt like crying and hitting herself in the head with the helmet. Of course that the Kyoto-girl was going to be tired it was almost ten in the evening. What was she thinking, being so impulsive. Nao was right, she was a...

"I thought that maybe you could stay." The voice pulled Natsuki away from her self-pity. "Its being four months, three weeks and two days since I last saw Natsuki. But if you have other plans..."

There was something in that voice that sounded a lot like regret. It made Natsuki think about the words that Akane had spoken almost an hour before that Shizuru was letting Natsuki choose what to do.

_So that may be, she's willing to hurt herself for you, to kill for you. Of course she is going to let you choose what to do. She loves you. And you are too afraid to let her know._

Natsuki got down from her bike and faced Shizuru. At small look around them showed that the little group of student that were out at that time where more interested in going inside the dorm than hearing them. She felt her hands tremble, but...

"I have being very afraid lately." Shizuru lifted her head at those words, and her eyes found Natsuki. "I thought you had forgotten about me, or that you found someone else, or God knows what has been running through my mind. But not once I put my trust in you and your feelings, I'm an idiot for doing that. I mean, all those times that I talked with Akane, and Mai and Mikoto (although she only hit me with a bokken) and even Nao... I should have come to you. Nobody could help with my fear. But you, because you are my best friend, and I' sorry I forgot that. The truth is... I-I love you, really love you. But I'm so afraid... I'm sorry that I'm afraid... Could you maybe help me with my fear cause I want to said the words to you and---"

The first kiss they shared some time ago had been stolen from a sleeping Natsuki. The second kiss had been mostly Natsuki trying to wake up Shizuru when the events of their last fight occurred. This kiss was completely different, this time all the passion that Shizuru felt towards the dark haired girl was communicated trough that kiss, and when Natsuki noticed what was happening she responded in kind.

"Wow." Was the intelligent response from the biker, once they separated. Her brain was having problems trying to reboot.

"I love you, Natsuki." Said the Kyoto-ben with a loving smile.

"I love you, too." Responded a dazed voice.

"See? My Natsuki doesn't need my help. She can say the words by herself."

"After that kiss it's a miracle that your Natsuki can say anything. I'm having trouble thinking." Natsuki couldn't help but blush as she heard her own words and Shizuru's accompanying laugh. "Ne? Shizuru, I think I'll accept you offer of going inside for some tea." Shizuru's amused look changed to apologetic at those words.

"I'm sorry Natsuki. I can't let you do that." And Natsuki's smile disappeared at those words, but before the girl could protest Shizuru continued speaking. "I'm afraid that if I let you inside my room tonight I will molest you."

"I-I..." Before Natsuki's fear could answer that, something stirred inside her. Something that grew in her belly and started to send a pleasant tingle through her body. A VERY pleasant tingle. That same something grabbed Fear by the neck and knocked it unconscious. Natsuki's countenance changed when that occurred. A slightly devious smile appeared at those words. "Shizuru, if that's the case I really, really want to go to your room."

Natsuki almost gave an incredible girlish squeal at seeing Shizuru blush at her words. But before that could happen the light haired girl grabbed her hand with the one that wasn't holding her books (thought Natsuki believed that if she didn't had a free hand she would have throw them away), gave Natsuki a kiss that made her brain reboot again and started guiding the biker to her room.

Later that night, as Natsuki rested contented next to a very sleeping and very naked Shizuru, she couldn't help but think that courage is a funny thing. As most people know it's not the absence of fear, but to know the fear and still charge forward. Of course, if courage has an ally called "recently awakened libido" then it could just knock fear unconscious and do as one please.

---

After Note: I really think that Natsuki is a closeted pervert (come on! She has a lingerie collection!). So that's the reason for the ending, that or my fever came back.

After Note 2: I' writing a couple of AU fics about Natsuki and Shizuru. If people is willing to read them and wait two weeks between updates (I solemnly swear that it'll be two weeks top between updates) then let me know if I should upload one of them. Thanks for reading and I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sorry about the delay.


End file.
